A Saucy Seth and the Clams of Death Update

I have been in contact with a Mr. Jonathan Dorn from Saucy Seth and the Clams of Death about doing an interview. He seemed initially positive but is yet to respond to further enquires.

Keep it here for all your Saucy Seth and the Clams of Death news.

In the game

I've just finished reviewing True Crime: New York City for Pixelsurgeon. The process wasn't a very illuminating one, but I did manage to get a joke about a quarry in there. All in the spirit of good fun.

Currently on the review schedule are some electronica from Izu, and a couple of Korean movies. I am fast turning into a Korean movie specialist...time for a splinter blog perhaps...

Finally, I'm now spending my time working on various things for Mode 7, trying to help Determinance to completion and also assisting with getting the game out into the world in some kind of appropriate manner. We will be starting a proper Mode 7 blog soon where you'll be able to get more up-to-the-minute updates and no doubt some photos of cats.

Git sack

My review of Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex - Second Gig, Volume 2 is up at Pixelsurgeon. I'm only telling you because typing out Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex - Second Gig, Volume 2 makes me laugh.

I need your help

Jellica is sadly unable to tell me the name of my favourite track from his mix, as it was on an abandoned Amiga floppy and has no information attached.

Here it is in all it's dubious glory. If you can identify it, I'll give you a sweet or something. In fact I'll send you a free CD, how about that?

Why I love the Wikipedia deletion log

Wikipedia has only recently managed to grow out of its sorry adolescence of abundant inaccuracy into a resource which can actually be expected to provide reasonable results. But skeletons remain in one particular closet, and that closet has a name: Special:Log/delete.

Special:Log/delete is where bad articles go to die; it is a sorry Boot Hill of furious homophobia, self-aggrandisement, Dada, insults, spam and gibberish. Every time an article is deleted - ostracised by the Wikipedian democracy - its name and a snippet of its content are recorded here, tiny digital epitaphs for the lights that burned too brightly. Information has never been this stupid.

The Categories of Woe

1. Me

21:59, 12 March 2006 Naconkantari deleted "Harry Chappell" (content was: 'Harry Chappell has a dad(Mark Chappell), a mum (Foina Dennis), Three sisters (Florence, Lucy and Emily), And One Brother (Sam) He was born on the sixt...' (and the only contributor was 'Harry Chappell)

On encountering Wikipedia for the first time, many users find that one very important facet of the world is missing from the otherwise comprehensive listings: themselves.

I love this one for its detail. It transcends merely "Harry Chapell is the awesomest guy alive" to a full delination of Harry's social status, comprising, in fact, a genuine article about Harry Chapell. I want to know more. I care, and so does the world.

20:50, 12 March 2006 Angr deleted "Talk:Sangu delle" (talk page of deleted article. content before blanking was: 'Obiously this article was written by sangu delle himself. He calls himself as "of Africa’s most promising sons" and a "beacon of compassion". Somebo...')

"Hi, my name's Sangu Delle. Oh really ? You work in a bakery? That's cool. Well, I'm kind of working part time now. Yeah, I'm a beacon of compassion at the weekends, but on Tuesdays I wash dogs."

06:13, 12 March 2006 Academic Challenger deleted "Ornab Momin" (content was: 'Quite possibly the greatest person of all time.Ornab is the greatest.Ornab is also Batman.' (and the only contributor was 'I MaNMaN I'))

That's why you never see Ornab and Batman together.

2. Already covered elsewhere

18:54, 12 March 2006 JIP deleted "Yo Momma" (article contents are not encyclopedic, subject is already covered elsewhere)

It really is, if you're wondering.

3. Huh?

21:28, 12 March 2006 Francs2000 deleted "Brock wedlake" (content was: '{{db|Attack, possible nonsense}}The gigalow with the most belowHe be on the flo like they want some mocause he hits those hoes like they smoke so...')

A rapping encyclopedia. I can hear the American school boards jumping for joy from all the way over here. "Possible nonsense" is surely harsh - I think Biggie Smalls might have something to say about this desecration of his form were he still with us. Also, as every playa knows, this should clearly have been saved from deletion for the notable achievement of six rhymes in a row, which earns a X20 bonus modifier and +20 Eloquence in "Rapping".

15:53, 12 March 2006 The Epopt deleted "Togging" (content was: '{{prod| google search showed zero instances of this}}(verb - to tog, noun - a tog) Togging is the fusion of teaching and blogging in the classroom o...')

Togging. Makes sense.

4. If only we could

21:21, 12 March 2006 Harro5 deleted "BBC Radio Five Live"

5.Truth

21:03, 12 March 2006 Academic Challenger deleted "Lesbians in a tree" (content was: '{{nonsense}}''Lesbians in a tree'' is a collective term used to describe a group of females located in a plant."

Seems fine to me...

10:42, 12 March 2006 Obli deleted "Acute radiation syndrome" (content was: 'They would be dead by now sorry.' (and the only contributor was 'Ultratension'))

Again...

10:27, 12 March 2006 Kingboyk deleted "Matthew Wearne" (content was: '{{db-bio}}He thinks he's a biker.')

Tscheah. With his bikes. Who does he think he is? A biker or something? He's such a lame-o, I bet he wears BIG SHOES or something. I'm never going to the prom with him. OMG A NEW TOOL ALBUM...

6.Unintentional commentary

15:51, 12 March 2006 Mushroom deleted "Islamic Comedy" (redirect to nowhere)

I'd expect it to redirect to Islam, but I guess it's just not working.

7.Intentional commentary

08:08, 12 March 2006 Mysekurity deleted "Saucy Seth & the Clams of Death" (Deleted after 5 days on ProD. Non-notable band that played at high schools.)

Oh man! Where am I going to find out when Saucy Seth and the Clams of Death are playing at my high school?? If only there was some kind of link to a website which had information about the band...

8.BAMF!

06:49, 12 March 2006 Meegs deleted "James w nelson ii" (content was: '{{db|nonsense}}James William Nelson II is a BAMF!')

BAMF!

The Wikipedia deletion log is your friend and mine: a magical pool which refills with comedy on a daily basis no matter how much you drink.

Search strings of the month

Here's the most amusing ways people have discovered nervoustestpilot.co.uk this month:

"origami there is no try"
Clearly an attempt to discover origami as taught by Yoda, rather than of Yoda.
"ice batman"
Either the mafia has it in for him, or someone's going to have the best birthday party ever.

Update: it's never too late to add "terrifying organism" to the list.

Nervous Testpilot meets...Jellica

If you're not a worse person now you've seen this image, I pity you entirely

We've all heard of micromusic by now, but there's some scoundrels out there purveying something which might be deemed "microcore": it's fast, crazy, usually tracker-based, and it sounds like two overclocked Amigas triggering randomly pitched half-second Motorhead samples over the internal soundset for a Dizzy game.

Jellica's Microparty mix (mentioned previously) is a terrifying interleaved showcase for this ridiculous genre which will upset you entirely. I managed to catch up with him recently to try to find any kind of reasonable explanation for his behaviour.

nervous_testpilot : Who are you then and what's all this now?

Jellica : I was born in Portsmouth, England but lived in the French c***tree side for a bit. I got a C64 when I was about 8, and my brother (Josstintimberlake) and I used record the music from the teevee speaker into a crap tape player. We got an Amiga 600 when I was 13 and got Octamed free on a magazine cover disk, and started to make stuff. Played bass in a few bands and in 2002 discovered SIDplay and the HVSC SID collection and just spent ages listening to and sampling all that.

Your guess is as good as mine

I started http://www.kittenrock.co.uk with grand theft andrew/dr dru in 2003 or 2004: maybe just for music that we did and friends and stuff t'give away f'free; anything thats makes us laugh: really dodgy french metal most of the stuff is chippy though. Currently now making novelty chip mush mixes and leaping around stupidly, cutting toy animals' heads off, handing out porn, face-painting while playing ravey noise stuff on the amiga and gameboy.

nervous_testpilot: How are you involved with the micromusic scene?

Jellica: It’s a place. I meet kids into the chip stuff, parties and tunes. We have a few tracks there to download, played a couple of parties with some of those kids too.

nervous_testpilot: What's this fast and crazy microcore all about then?

Jellica: It's probably down to a love of fast crazy stuff like Venetian Snares, Squarepusher, Kid 606, a bit of early hardcore and drum n bass as well as silly things like the B-52s,Kevin Bletchdom, Matmos, Max Tundra. Just stuff to dance and leap around to just keepin'in funky and pop and noise at the same time. I love the silly leads that you used to get on like on the old c64 games they can be well epic stuff and very amusing and f***ing strange sounds and the bass noises mmmm...

nervous_testpilot: Any other music lying around?

Jellica: Yeah , hours and hours and hours of it. Check http://ovvk.free.fr and micromusic for some of the better things maybe.

nervous_testpilot: Further projects that should be hyped?

Jellica: A load of housetechnoelectropunk things and sum wanna-bee squarepusher aphex style floaty melodic geektronica things, but they are hiding on my harddrive. There's a few good tunes that I still like though, under different psudonyms like pony fetisch, jake, thetsch, new found faces, aphex twine's face, katnip kru. There's a few gigs in Cambridge UK, supporting guitar bands - why the promoters ask me to support them I have no idea, especially when the audiences just look scared, confused and sometimes just leave. It's funny tho hehehe to get drunk and make a bad noise. Check the site or our www.myspace.com/jellicadrdru for gig info.

nervous_testpilot: Anything to tell the world at large?

Jellica: Everything is a lie.

I see. Or maybe I don't.

Note to reader and self: Sometimes asking someone for artwork to accompany an interview is, quite literally, asking for it.

Stop looking at me, swan

Of the few things which could alleviate the annoyance with technology I have had today, this is one...of those.
BoingBoing reports (without, unusually, finding the least funny thing about the story and then inventing a new word for it like MONKEYZORBING), that a judge in this case cited the fantastic rant from the conclusion of Billy Madison when responding to a motion entitled, rather aptly, "Defendant's Motion to Discharge Response to Plaintiff's Response to Defendant's Response Opposing Objection to Discharge."

In response, I suggest this:


Yes, Booty Call. A movie with one character named Bunz and another named Lysterine. Now all we need is a judge to work this one in:

Bunz: [in Chinese] Excuse me, Sir. If you don't put out the smoke, my boy and I won't be getting any ass tonight.
Ug Lee: [in Chinese] Oh? No problem.

Motion denied.

Fairly disturbing square wave proliferation

Er...thanks, I think, to Bit Shifter for pointing Jellica's latest micromusic mix out to me...it's very very hyperactive and contains some incredibly stupid music. Check out the lunacy around 9:23 if you don't believe me. Rave-stabbingly...wrong.

Mr Shifter believed it to contain a piece of Nervous Testpilot ancient history called "Super Checkpoint '91", but I can't find it in there. That's not a reason not to listen though!

You can go over here to Kitten Rock and pick up one of your very own.

What You Say?!

I have been busy over at Pixelsurgeon reviewing both Capote and Benny Chan's loony Divergence.